“I wish I knew this earlier,” thought Mark, who got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult.
For as long as he could remember, he felt that something was “wrong” with him – that even though he had potential, he just couldn’t function like everyone else. And when he did manage to succeed, it came at a huge cost.
For years, Mark heard things like:
“You just need to try harder.”
“You’re smart but lazy.”
“Why can’t you focus for once?”
“Why do you always lose everything?”
No wonder that over time, Mark’s self-esteem crashed.
He got so much external evidence that he “wasn’t enough,” that eventually he believed it himself.
ADHD and Self-Esteem – The Role of Your Surroundings
Now, imagine that Mark wasn’t born on Earth… but on Planet X.
On Planet X, nothing is strictly planned. You have to act fast, adapt on the go, and be flexible in constant chaos.
Focus happens intensely, but only when something grabs your attention. Plans change daily. Challenges pop up out of nowhere.
And guess what?
In this world, the exact traits that seemed like problems on Earth would be strengths on Planet X.
Mark would thrive. His creativity, speed, and ability to spot opportunities would be assets – not flaws.
Context Makes a Difference
ADHD is a set of traits.
Whether those traits feel like “deficits” or “gifts” depends a lot on the environment, expectations, and people around you.
Often, the biggest struggle isn’t the ADHD itself – but how hard it is to live with it in a world that doesn’t get how your mind works.
And you might be thinking:
“But I can’t just change the whole world around me!”
True. But you can make adjustments.
You can choose places, people, and activities that highlight your strengths instead of only exposing your struggles.
How to Reframe the Story You Tell Yourself
If you want to build a better relationship with yourself, start by looking at your story differently.
📌 Here’s an exercise:
📝 Grab a notebook.
🕘 Set a timer for 30 minutes.
✍️ Write freely – no filtering, no judging.
📌 Ask yourself:
- What activities give me energy or feel natural?
- What am I proud of lately – even if it’s something small?
- Who are the people I feel safe, seen and fully myself with?
- What genuinely sparks my curiosity or enjoyment?
- What am I looking forward to in the next few weeks?
Think of a time when you felt at your best – energized, authentic, and fully engaged.
What helped that version of you come forward?
Your Strengths Aren’t Missing – They’re Waiting to Be Seen
You don’t need to “fix” yourself.
You need to recognize the contexts where your traits become assets.
And be there more often, doing more of what works for you!
Start doing the things that someone who values themselves would do – even if you don’t fully believe it yet.
📌 Maybe your self-worth shows in the care you give yourself – in how you spend your time, what supports you, and what you choose to surround yourself with.
When you notice, nurture, and build around your strengths – they’ll take you further than you thought possible.
Even with ADHD. Especially with ADHD.
Ready To Rewrite Your Story?
📌 If this resonated with you and you want more reflections and insights on how to build satisfying life with ADHD, join my
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