ADHD and perfectionism often go hand in hand. If you find yourself stuck in all-or-nothing thinking, struggling to take action unless it’s ‘perfect’ – this post is for you! Discover how to break free from this cycle and build sustainable habits.
Do You Happen To Think Like This?
“I missed my Monday workout… well, this whole week is ruined.”
“I only completed half my to-do list. I’m a failure.”
“I ate one sweet snack… I can’t stick to diets, so why even try?”
If you read this and thought, “Oh wow, that’s me! I think like that all the time!”, let me tell you a story.
Meet Kate
Kate is 31 years old, full of ideas, and eager to do everything. Recently diagnosed with ADHD, which felt like finding the missing puzzle piece that finally made everything click.
Kate wants to structure her days, manage her time better, and stick to the things that truly matter to her. But when she sits down to plan, everything seems equally important – and, of course, must be done 100%.
Otherwise, what’s the point?
⇨ Wanting to learn German? She signs up for an intensive online course, private lessons with a native speaker, and plans to read books in the original language.
⇨ Wanting to start yoga? She buys the best yoga gear and commits to the most challenging style she can find.
It all looks perfect on paper. But then… Tuesday happens. It’s cold and gray, and after a long workday, Kate’s brain feels completely overwhelmed. The idea of pushing through an intense practice feels unbearable.
So what does she do? Nothing.
“What’s the point of continuing if I can’t keep up with what I planned? I always fail. I’m just not meant to have routines. Everything is pointless,” Kate thinks, frustrated.
When One Mistake Makes You Want to Quit
Do you know what the biggest obstacle for Kate is?
It’s not lack of motivation nor discipline.
It’s not laziness.
It’s all-or-nothing thinking.
One slip-up, one missed step, and suddenly everything feels like a failure.
So why even bother trying?
Why Is All-or-Nothing Thinking So Common In ADHD?
🔸 It’s tied to perfectionism – A frequent companion of ADHD. When you have an image of how something should be done perfectly, anything less feels like a failure. Instead of making progress, you quit because why even try if it’s not perfect?
🔸 Past experiences reinforce this pattern – Many ADHDers grew up hearing things like “You could try harder” or “If you just focus, you can do it!” Instead of feeling encouraged, their brain internalized these messages as “Either I do it perfectly, or it’s not worth doing at all.” Over time, this turned into perfectionism.
But this mindset stops progress. Every small mistake feels like a reason to give up. This leads to procrastination, frustration, and guilt.
Here’s the truth: it’s impossible to be at 100% all the time.
There will be days when your energy is low. Unexpected events will throw off your schedule. Some evenings, the only thing you’ll have energy for is lying under a blanket. And that’s OK.
So How to Break Free from All-or-Nothing Thinking?
Kate can prepare for these low energy days.
She can create a MINIMUM PLAN.
A minimum plan is a flexible, ADHD-friendly alternative to perfectionism. It’s the version of your plan that you can still do even on a bad day.
ADHD energy levels fluctuate, so our plans should reflect that.
✅ Instead of a full yoga session, Kate can do 5 minutes of stretching.
Five minutes is better than zero. Maybe once she starts, she’ll feel like doing more. Or maybe she’ll just feel good knowing she did something instead of feeling guilty for doing nothing.
✅ Instead of an intense German study session, she can read a few flashcards in German.
✅ Instead of cleaning the entire apartment, she can just put away cups.
Moving Beyond All-or-Nothing Thinking
📌 ADHD thrives on flexibility and small wins, not rigid, unrealistic rules.
📌 One small step is always better than giving up.
What would your minimum plan for tomorrow look like? What’s one small step you can do, even on a low-energy day?
Drop a comment and let me know ⇩
If you recognize yourself in this post and want more ADHD-friendly tips, sign up for my ⮕ newsletter ⬅You’ll get practical insights tailored to ADHD minds straight to your inbox – without the pressure of perfection 📩